I have a story about humility. Many people suffer from self-esteem issues, but I seem often to suffer from the opposite: pride. I did well in high school, went on to a college degree, and then got a job where I was successful. I am organized and *usually* on top of things. So I often pray for humility and for God to remind me that it is because of Him that I was successful, and because of Him that I can hold it together.
A while back a friend of mine wrote checks out of an account that what closed. In my organized, “with it” mind, I wondered: “How could you do that?” It just didn’t make much sense to me since I have systems for everything to keep my life flowing efficiently between the white lines of the fast lane.
So here’s the scenario: 1) Prayer for humility. 2) Possibly prideful thought about check writing.
The result: God answers my prayer for humility using check writing.
Note to husband: If you are reading this, read no further. It really doesn’t concern you since it deals with my business checking account, not our personal funds. Also, I am already extremely humbled and embarrassed, so much so that I cannot tell you about it. I cannot endure what you would say about being more careful next time. But I did tell it to a friend who said that one confession was enough.
Last week I noticed that I was running out of checks in my wallet checkbook that I carry in my purse. In my organized way, I made a note on my Post-It notes that I keep in my van just for such occasions. When I got home, the Post-It note followed the approved protocols for processing paper. First, it went into the blue “Mail/Other” folder which hangs in my laundry room. Then, on the proper day for carrying folders upstairs and sorting them out, it was put on the steps to go up. Then, on a trip upstairs, said folder with note was put on my desk. Then, when sorted out, the note was found and acted upon. A fresh set of checks was located and put back into my purse. Wow, I am so with it!
I happily wrote checks for Hannah’s dance recital costumes, and for some alterations. Then, on Monday, a nasty note came from the bank where I have my business checking account. “Why are they sending me this?” I wondered, as I had not had any activity in this account for over a month. I hardly keep any money in it, as I spend the money as fast as I get it! The statement said that I had bounced a check for $80. I kept looking it over, and checking to make sure that it had my name on it, for I knew that I hadn’t written a check out of that account lately.
Then, terror struck. Instead of writing checks out of our personal banking account (that had money in it), I had written the checks from the business account that had, as of Sept. 24th, $13.81 in it. Both sets of checks look alike, and I had put the wrong set in my purse. (Note to self: Just because the hot pink/lime green floral check scheme is pretty, don’t order it for both personal and business checks. I know that it is really cute, but resist!).
So far only one check had cleared of the two that I had written. Thankfully, hubby was out of town during all of this commotion. They next day when the bank opened at 9 am the kids and I were there with some cash to put into the business account, in hopes that we could beat the second check from bouncing.
That nasty note arrived today. Thankfully, the seamstress whose check bounced is also a friend, so I called her today and explained what had happened. She gracefully forgave me, and I will take her a new check plus her bank fee on Saturday. And it will be a beautiful hot pink/lime green floral check with hubby and my name, and not my business’ name.
Now, I say all of this to show you what I learned in the process. I’ve prayed this week trying to understand why this happened. There has to be a reason why I’ve thrown away $85 to a bank. Of course, the Lord wants to answer my prayers and humble me. I hope that I had been sufficiently humbled. But I also saw something else. For all of September, my card sales were slow and our cash flow was tight as we had just made some major purchases. I would not have had extra money to cover the two $35 overdraft fees plus the seamstress’ bank fees. But, in the last week, I have sold card after card and even had a store contact me asking to sell my cards. Even in today’s mail along with the bank’s nastygram was a check for $46. Enough to cover today’s fees. God knew that I would make a mess, and He, in his goodness and grace, had already provided what I needed to fix the mess. I like that kind of God.
Enough to answer my prayers. And to bail me out when He answers them.
We sang a song in church last night that touched me, and it went something like this:
“Be glorified by my mess and delight yourself in my brokenness.” I believe that I sang it from a humble heart.
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